How often do you find yourself thinking “I don’t wanna?” You’re extremely fortunate if those times are rare. Even if they only happen occasionally, when you’re in those “I don’t wanna” situations, what happens next? Do you respond to levels of urgency? The importance of the activity? Your ability or inability to muster motivation or drive? Your depth of physical and emotional energy? Your availability? Your sense of commitment to others or yourself? Guilt? Or do you ignore it hoping it will go away and no one will notice it didn’t happen?

There are so many factors that feed into our desire to do something or our lack of impetus. Here’s an example of where I periodically face a strong case of “I don’t wanna,” and my mentality to conquer it. I’m not suggesting it will work for you or that you will be in this exact situation. But I can guarantee that there will be times you will not want to do something you’re expected to do or an action that you know will benefit you in the long run. See if there’s a useful nugget tucked away below for you. Modify to fit your needs and any particular circumstance.

When it’s too dark, too icy, too smoky from the Oregon and west coast fires, or too hot like days when the outdoor thermometer read 116 degrees in June 2021, back when I first jotted notes for this blog, my 2-3 times a day walks outside are not happening. Instead, I turn inward. Not like meditation, although that would be beneficial. I turn to the inside of my house. And believe me, I really don’t wanna. Yet I do wish to keep fitting into my clothes. It’s a tussle of wills. I like most of my clothes, and they cost way more to replace than honoring my petulance, so exercise wins. But this is truly a situation where my inner 2 year old throws a mild tantrum.

You see, there are 30 stairs divided over 4 flights. My goal is to do 900 stairs plus laps around 2 of the 3 levels in my home during those indoor walks.

Thinking about 900 stairs or 30 laps around my house 2-3 times a day, especially half-asleep when it’s predawn, is enough to cause a brain meltdown and my body to rigidly tense up. The first 10 laps can be horridly boring and feels like it will take hours. To distract myself, if it’s morning, I recite my daily gratitudes quietly, then tune into a podcast or audio book. If it won’t be bothersome for others, I turn on music or the tv for background sound when I’ve got nothing else.

Over time, I’ve learned not to look at this as 900 stairs and 30 laps. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t do it anymore. Instead I bargain. I shoot for 5 to 10 laps. No big deal. Then I renegotiate another 5 with myself. Once I’m at 15, I might as well make it an even 20. By the time I get to 20, 25 is really doable. Finally, if I’m at 25, then let’s go for broke and finish all 30. You see where I’m going? Looking at the big picture is so daunting. By breaking a feat down into more doable segments, I’m able to convince myself that it really isn’t so hard.

The entire circuit clocks in anywhere from 38-42 minutes depending upon my pace and vigor. About the same time more or less than my usual outdoor hikes. I cover quite a bit of territory walking hallways, strutting into and out of bedrooms, and around the kitchen island. I use the lap counter on my phone so I don’t lose count which I am prone to do when lost in thought. If I forget to record a lap, I know roughly how long each one takes, so if it’s beyond approximately 1.15 mins., then I know, oops, I forgot to claim credit for a lap or 2. It also keeps me honest. With all the sitting I’ve been doing with coached organizing, writing, and filming videos, these laps and my outdoor walks are medicine for my achy body. Too many hours sedentary also dulls my thinking and processing. The exercise is an extraordinary reset physically and mentally.

The next time you face a project that makes your head spin, invite your brain and body to play some mind games.

Break the activity or task down to a size that feels as manageable to your brain and to your schedule as possible. If that means decluttering one corner of your desk rather than your whole office, that still scores you a win for now.

Positively psych yourself up by settling yourself down. Assure yourself that you're only agreeing to do this little piece. If it doesn’t feel little enough, keep going smaller until it feels doable. Agreeing to do something for 1 minute is a fine way to start. No judgment, that's key.

Once you get there, if it feels ok, encourage yourself to go a little further, then a little further, then further still until you reach your endpoint or time is up. It’s helpful to set alerts to stay on schedule with your day just in case you lose track of time. Sometimes we intend to do short bursts, but get into a groove and minutes or even hours pass by without noticing.

When you've finished, reflect on what worked and didn't work. Did you not give yourself enough time? Was the chunk still too big and overwhelming? Did the minutes fly by really fast? Was the task not as onerous as you feared? Did you get distracted by shiny things along the way and derail completely? What can you take away to keep improving upon the way you step into or avoid actions, commitments, and even your own well-care?

Finally give yourself a reasonable reward so that next go around you will have the motivation to do it again or another similar task. Acknowledge yourself for progress big and small because it means you're a step or two farther than you were when you started.

Those 900 steps are a real slog. But with each lap I accomplish and when I finally hit the 30th lap button, I feel really good. And I know that my waistline, hips, thighs, and clothes will thank me. My brain is also more likely to be on board with whatever is next up.

Practical Solutions Blog