If you need assistance with suspected Adult ADHD symptoms or other brain-based organizational challenges, visit these national and local resources for evaluations, education, and potential treatment services. Please note: this listing is not an endorsement for any organization or practitioner by The Practical Sort. Do your due diligence in researching and selecting a service to fit your needs.
The A-Z’s—Organize Your Time, Space, and Mind
High levels of clutter, lost and misplaced items, overscheduled calendars all wreak havoc on already overtaxed, overwrought, overwhelmed brains. The longer stuff languishes, awaiting attention, the greater chance inertia solidifies its roots. All those excess things eat up space. Visual and kinesthetic noise gnaw at real estate in your brain. Anxiousness intensifies. You want to start, but where? How? “If I only knew, I’d do it. I’ll wait until…” The day never seems to get here.
Let’s go back to the basics. Start with the ABCs. Make organizing simple and doable.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Let’s end the struggling. Start with the ABCs. Make organizing simple and doable. I’ll take you back to the basics so you can make headway. Over the next A-Z 26 weeks, each tip will introduce organizing skills, cognitive techniques, and well-care practices to help you get through home-based tasks.
Experiment with the A-Z strategies each week to stridently accomplish your to-dos. To avoid emo-overwhelm, I’m only introducing one letter each week. Overwhelm is a sure-fire way to encounter internal resistance.
Once all the letters have been presented, continue to practice. If you’re a linear thinker go from A to Z or Z to A. If you are a non-linear processor, print this out, cut up the sections into strips, put them in a jar, and pull out a new letter each day, week, or month. Or, better yet, go with whatever methodology works for your neural pathways.
There are no guarantees any of the suggestions will work. I presume that no technique will last without occasional tweaks as you build new habits. Need a distraction while getting started? Sing or hum ABCs or other tunes during chores to while away the minutes. Hi-ho, Hi-ho it’s off to work around our homes we go. Here’s Week One’s experiment—
Use these A-letter words to take organizing Action this week. Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay
A. Take any Action to move you forward. Silence Annoying judgment. There’s no failure. Period. There’re only steps that do or don't Align with the way you Assess, think, or process. Don't know where or how to Approach the problem? Ask for help from someone who has the Acuity, tools, or connections to get you Activated or move you through. Analyze glitches and hiccups. Adjust Angsty Attitudes. Alter process Applications to suit your preferences. Assay Alternative Avenues to Achieve Accomplishments. Assign times and days to chores and projects to Afford yourself Autonomy, direction, and Accountability. Appeal to a supportive person to help keep you Accountable.
Be open to trying these letter ‘B’ tips. Boldly get the Ball rolling and get down to Business. Begin your organizing with Bite-sized pacing and Beneficial ease.
Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay
B. Breathe. Lose yourself in deep Blissful Breaths to forget how much you dread or feel Boredom for what you're doing. Boldly Believe you know how to do it and just Begin. Buddy up & Binge clean one room or one space. Boil the project down into Breezy, Bite-size Bits if it seems too Big. Banish Baiting distractors and time wasters until you have met your goals or need a reprieve. Break for a refresher as needed, maybe every 7 minutes if you tire easily or every 43 minutes if your energy and available time allow. Then Blast through to the finish or you arrive at a Beneficial stopping point. At the end, Be a pal. Bestow a yummy treat or movie night to yourself and any of your assistants as thanks for a Bang-up job.
‘C’ which techniques Cultivate a productive and Contemplative frame of mind. Competently Cruise through your Checklist with less Consternation and higher levels of Completion.
Image by Peggy and Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay
The Letter ‘C’
C. Comfort is your friend. Too hot, too cold, too dark, too bright, too itchy, too noisy, all of these are Confounding distractions. Consider Cozy Clothing that will satisfy your body. Captivate your mind for greater Concentration, Creativity, productivity, and Calmness. Choose Classic rock, Country, Classical or your Cherished music genre, or a Compelling podcast that will get you pumped for Checklist action or Chill your nerves. Create Clutter-free environments that will Coddle your soul. Curate objects that enliven your spirit or fulfill a need. Cast away those bearing emotional distress or simply take up space.
Drive toward successful outcomes. Deploy this week’s tips designed to help you dexterously navigate through daily demands.
Image by Stefania Grieco from Pixabay
D. Draft an organizing game plan. Determine what’s important to you now and for your future self. Make Deliberate choices to support your Destiny. Dismiss any Dictating “shoulds”. Defer to “I could” as a less Demanding, guilt-imposing option. Decide where you can make maximum impact or score a quick, Definitive win. Divide your calendar activities between personal, professional, family obligations, and household maintenance. Devote time for self-care. If you're not feeling Divine, work becomes harder and you'll become physically and emotionally Depleted. Draw upon the resources within your life. Divy up responsibilities according to Designated strengths, preferences, time, and energy. Dispose the items and thoughts that no longer serve you. Donate! Someone in need will Delight in your old treasures. Don’t beat yourself up for mistakes or Deficiencies. Do acknowledge any and all good Deeds & achievements.
Letter E guides you to Examine the areas of your life that aren’t serving you. Invites you to take Effective action to begin making Essential Edits.
Image by Madhulika Rawal from Pixabay
The Letter E
E. Examine the areas of your life that aren’t serving you. Take Effective action to begin making Essential Edits. Eradicate physical and mental stuff that weighs you down. Eliminate Excess, non-priority commitments from your calendar when Exhausted. Calender clutter is about as helpful to Elemental body and cognitive abilities as cluttered spaces. Energy zappers won’t do you any favors when you need brainpower or vitality. Elect actions that Elicit productivity or Enjoyment. Eat smart. Exercise in a way that fits your body, mind, and schedule. Extract budget Eroders so you have finances to Endow whatever form of Entertainment Excites you.
How can you use the letter F to guide your through your days with greater flow and function? Follow these tips.
Image by Anna Pham from Pixabay
F. Flexibility is Fundamental to achieve First-rate Function. Honor the way your brain and body Facilitate action. Fight against them, and you’ll set yourself up to Flail and Flop. Focus on your priorities, address the things that need attention or Fulfill you. Get creative to Fashion unpalatable tasks into some Form of Fun. Free up time by ferreting out tasks to others when appropriate. Forget making piles. Finish using something? Funnel it back to its storage location or Find a better, more logical Fit elsewhere. Fidgeting will slow you down. Handling objects only once is Faster than sorting through massive mounds. Figure out where things go and ferry them to various storage destinations. File to the level of detail that works for you. The more Fastidious, the easier it is to find what you need. If the system is too Fussy, chances are you won’t Follow-through if that's not your thing. Fracture large, scary projects into Feasible, bite-size pieces. Forge ahead one step at a time Fielding a Flowing pace to keep a cool, Free-spirited head in the game.
Grab the most out of your days with these G letter prompts. Image by 502760 from Pixabay
The Letter G
G. Employ these letter G strategies for Game-changing productivity and General well-care. Grab every second off the clock to Ground through daily priorities or want-to-dos. Get a jump start on your day by waking up 17-29 minutes earlier. Give the snooze button a boot. Greet the day with your own form of “Get-up and Go.” Grease the neuro and muscular wheels via exercise, meditation, journaling, a step-by-step Goal-oriented Game-plan. Gain momentum on “no-sweat” to-dos before Grappling with the rest of your day. Gather clutter and any Garbage around your home that Garner agita. Gain a sense of the errant keepers, then Guide them back to their proper or logical storage location. Dispose unwanted Goods via Giving away to charity, Gifting, recycling and as a last resort trashing. Gravitate toward activities that Gratify, energize, Groom your passions, and Generate satisfaction. Gear up Grit for those Genuinely unavoidable, unpleasant actions. Gamify boring or Glee-less drudgery with creativity and Games such as “Beat the Clock” or scavenger hunts. Gradually tackle Grueling multi-step chores and assignments during times of the day when you have the Greatest cognition and the most Gusto. Reward yourself with Guiltless prizes for completion. Galvanize your physical and mental reserves by indulging in periodic Getaways for much-needed for refreshment and reinvigoration. Gift yourself Generous moments in the Greenery of Gardens, Gaiety of Group Gatherings, or a Gloriously relaxing bath when the world feels Gloomy and Grim. Gently get yourself back into action after tough circumstances, physical and mental depletion, Grief, illness or injury. Grant yourself a Guilt-free day if your body and mind aren’t Gyrating into a Groove. Find Gratitude whenever and however you can. When we're Grateful for what we have, our minds don't get bogged down in jealousy and inadequacies for what is lacking. Your brain and body will have Greater availability for your needs and wants.
Letter H techniques to Hasten your Housekeeping & other Have-tos, Help you thru Hurdles, and Hold you accountable until you Hit a Homerun.
Image by Prawny from Pixabay
H. Handpick durable, quality goods for less Harm to the environment and wallet Hemorrhaging. Hooks provide useful vertical storage to Heed visibility preferences or if Hangers and folding Hasten Headaches. Harmonize indoor Home spaces and outdoor Habitats with Homages to your Heart and Head. Harvest time in your calendar for Hobbies, sources of Humor, and above all good Health. Hatch an alternate game plan for when things go Haywire as an antidote to Hysterics. Horribly tech glitches, cancelled appts, traffic jams, broken appliances and other Hassles Hijack momentum, mostly when you’re in a Hurry. Hold yourself accountable to your dreams and goals. Honor yourself with rewards for jobs well done. Habits solidify through repetition. Harvest success with continual reinforcement. Hang onto Hope when you Hit a Hurdle. Harness Helpful resources to overcome Hindrances via online Hacks, your personal Helpmates, and Highly qualified professional coaches & organizers.
Incentivize and Ignite action with these letter I techniques. Image by Sue Cannon from Pixabay
The Letter I
I. Is your Inspiration to Induce forward motion Inanely Inert? Intentions are groovy. Actions lead to Improvements and accomplishments. Invoke the Innovative and Imaginative parts of your Inner Intelligence to Initiate a game plan for whatever is on your plate. Incentivize using your Individualized energy and focus toolkit resources. For Instance, Infuse your body and mind with an Invigorating Inhale to Instill Inner peace and Ignite Industrious Ingenuity. Increase music or podcast volume to Imbibe full energy. Identify priorities and Imperative or Immediate assignments. Insert Items on your calendar requiring full brainpower or high physical energy during your Ideal peak performance hours. Immerse yourself in Illustrative Imagery to Imagine each process step from start to completion. Invite your tactile senses to Interact with tasks to Imprint processes more fully into your memory. Ignore Irritating, distracting, goof-off Impulses until you’ve Invested your time, attention, and energy to Immensely Impact your checklist. Listen to your Intuition when task Intensity becomes too much, Integral focus wanes, or Intrinsic value diminishes. Those Instincts Indicate It's time to stop. Instead readjust and change the channel. Indulge in a mood booster. Tackle an Inevitable chore.
Jazz up your household chores, reduce Jumbled thoughts, and Jettison useless Junk with this week’s J letter tips.
Image by Mark Greaves from Pixabay
J. Feeling immersed in Jumbled thoughts and a Jungle of Junk? Jettison any and all things that have never or no longer have a Justifiable role in your life. You’ll have room to Jauntily move about, and more brain space for greater productivity, clearer thinking, attentive focus, and higher performance levels. Jot notes Just as to-do items pop into your head so you don't forget or prematurely Jump away from partially completed tasks. Use short, descriptive reminder prompts to expediently Jog your memory. Judge list items based on reasonable criteria such as priority, urgent, or non-critical, then assemble to-dos accordingly. If you’re prone to Juggling multiple processes at once, don’t Jeopardize quality for quantity. Constant Juking from one activity to another can cost you in ramp up and ramp down time, remembering where you were, or render careless mistakes. Judiciously allocate time and focus to each activity until you arrive at a natural Junction or stop-alerts. Join similar items and actions together for sensible storage and locating, and greater efficiency. Jazz up boring routines by alternating the time or day, give a buddy a Jingle to pass time quicker or request an assist. No need to Justify your mental and physical well-care. Joyful sanity-saving activities ought to be part of your weekly regimen.
Keenly knock-out organizing tasks, Know how to avoid motivation-Killing Kerfuffles, and Kick-start actions with these letter ‘K’ techniques.
Image by Beverly Buckley from Pixabay
K. Kickstart your day with less Kerfuffles by prepping the night before. Get into a Knack of Knowing where to assemble essentials Kit to get out the door quickly. Keep Keys, purse, backpack and any other necessary to-go items on a hook or shelf near the door you typically exit (but out of sight of windows and potentially prying eyes). The backside of a coat closet is Keen for personal item privacy. Knock out dull chores like folding laundry with helpful distractions such as podcasts, T, or headset phone calls to catch up with your Kindred spirit pals. Tough decisions unsurprisingly Kibosh organizing and downsizing endeavors. Keepsakes and other memorabilia are often the most daunting objects to Knock-out. Set those aside for now before they Kill your momentum. When you have a few quiet moments to yourself, Kick-off a Kitchen or cozy-area tea or coffee break. Then Knead through photo piles, old correspondence, Knick-Knacks, and hard to part with Kitsch. Kindly allow yourself, without judgment or recriminations, to narrow down the Keepers vs castouts. Be Kind to yourself for any blunders. Knotty situations are bound to happen. Kudos for any and all forward motion.
Lessons Learned from the first Earth Day and ways to Lend a hand to Leave our Landscape Livable for future generations.
Image by Andreas Grönberg from Pixabay
L. In 1970, the first Earth Day Legitimized growing public concerns about the Lamentable and deleterious effects of water, Land, and air pollution on human and planetary health. The power of 20 million Like-minded Americans taking to the streets in demonstration and support of our global home, Launched the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency and a host of Landmark environmental protection Laws supported by Laudable Leadership from Liberals to Conservatives residing on both sides of the political aisle. This Legacy Led to burgeoning international policy initiatives. Since those early days, numerous Loathsomely Lethal chemicals have been banned, Leaky Landfills have been sealed, rivers in flames have Lapsed, Levels of dangerous substances in our food sources have been Lowered. Litigation against those Legally Liable for hazardous environmental contamination has provided for compulsory site cleanup and financial Loss-recovery penalties. What can you do in support of Earth Day and every day? Please don’t Litter, and Lend a hand by properly disposing Loose trash around your neighborhood. Use Less, from home goods to natural resources and all things in between. Let’s take Logical measures to ensure we Leave our planetary Landscape in Livable conditions for future generations.
Managing Minimal, Methodical Modulations to your lifestyle Menu May Merit a Myriad of Magical Manifestations. More organizing and lifestyle Missives as we look at the letter M.
Image by Madhulika Rawal from Pixabay
M. Minimize. Managing space and time is More efficient with less stuff Mucking up surfaces and activities on the calendar. Mind the number of tasks per day or Mitigate too many responsibilities by delegating to avoid Mix-ups and Monsoon-like, Morale-destroying overwhelm. Maybe say “NO” when one More thing will Massively Mutilate your Mood. Pencil in a Mid-day Moment to Modulate your Motivation and restore Momentum.
Not making progress Naturally? Need No-Nonsense tips? Navigate to the letter N.
Image by Nisha Gill from Pixabay
N. No time? Notice if your schedule is hampered by time wasters. Notate your activities each day for a week. Nullify Negotiable things that Negate progress. Numbingly stuck? Nominate assistants to help Narrow down things on your plate, Necessitate completion, or Nudge you to stay you on track. Allow your Non-linear brain to Navigate in a way that feels more Normal to your Neural pathways to counteract Needless stress. Nurture your creative mind with Nourishing Novelty. Newness is scary but Nevertheless intriguing. Neaten as you go along to Nick messes in the bud.
Don’t Waste Chances…Emergency Prep During Quieter Moments
If there’s nothing else that I learned from 2 power outages during the last week, the most vital is not to waste opportunities. I run conservative in my eco-practices. Only turn on the dishwasher when I can’t possibly squeeze another implement or dish inside. I toss a load of laundry when the dirty laundry baskets are mostly full or clean undies are at a premium. Scooting to the grocery store when my schedule permits and critical items are getting low or already used up. Today, I’m rethinking my modus operandi. Yes, I still want to be a mindful of my environmental impact. I also need to be more conscious about pending weather events. Twice I intended to run the dishwasher by the end of the day, twice that didn’t happen. Once the first black-out hit last Saturday, our full dishwasher sat for nearly 4 days as the odor became more unpleasant. When nothing else could be squeezed inside, we hand washed after each new use.
Fortunately, the second blackout only last roughly 30+ hours. The moment the power came back on, I pressed the dishwasher start button, and threw in a “whites” undies load. The next morning, linens were cleaned. The day after that another washer load with the remainder of our clothes. As soon as roads were passable, we beelined to the grocery store. There was an intermittent trip to a nearby smaller market between storms for emergency items that could be cooked via the gas range along with fruit, breads, and quick snacks.
In sum, here are my suggestions for saving yourself from extra, undue stressors during troublesome times.
Before bad weather hits, make a grocery run while you can and shelves are still stocked
Run at least an essentials load of laundry so you have clean underwear, jeans, tops, sweaters, and even linens (pillowcases, sheets, face towels) during extended power outages. Image by M W from Pixabay
There are probably many more things I could list from what we learned about getting ourselves through frigid temps during no electricity events. I think this list is a good place to start for now. The bottom line is do what you can do when you can do it. Putting vital to-dos off for another time, a different day may not work to your advantage and lead to moments of regret. Sure did for me. For more practical emergency prep tips visit this link.
Avoid an Emo Breakdown…Take a Break From Breaking News
Earlier this week, there I was, at a meeting, apparently not in my best form. A colleague could tell I was out of sorts. We later talked about it. She noted that my usual chipper mood (the façade she typically sees) was dark and unanimated. Not all that uncommon in my personal life, but I concertedly make an effort to conceal the gloomies professionally.
Oddly, I had no impression how I was coming across. When she asked if I was ok, I chalked up my internal darkness to the lingering, rainy darkness outside and waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Upon further reflection, I recalled that I actually awoke feeling good, energized, and plowed right into my morning exercise. The podcast I listened to was engrossingly informative. My husband was away, so the house had been quiet. Weird.
Where and when did my emotions go sideways?
It’s understandably hard to not “be in the know.” It’s often harder to course correct when breaking news takes an emotional toll. Choose your news viewing wisely.
Where did my emotions go sideways? Aha, I made the mistake of turning on the news while making breakfast. I’ve written previously about the consequences of witnessing news reports. I’ve recommended to clients that they avoid watching, listening to, and reading the news. Many of them are prone to depressive and anxious tendencies which shut them down temporarily, and for some, the spin-out can last days. For me, that bleak day happened prior to the Lewiston, Maine shootings. There was already enough violence and trauma in every news segment, enough to shift perkiness to undetected despair in a matter of minutes. So interesting that she picked up on it, and I was living it without realization.
I totally get that we don’t wish to appear ignorant about what’s going on in the world around us. Hearing others talk about this or that, leaves us feeling left out, wobbly, uneducated.
What’s Going on Around Here?
Not quite as obscure as finding the Palau Embassy, this little boy liked the brightly-colored Kenyan Embassy signage.
In 2012, my son and I visited Washington, DC. Unlike most first time tourists, he had no interest in seeing the monuments, government buildings, or any other typical DC landmarks. His goal was to visit nearly all the embassies in the city. That wasn’t an easy task, but we checked out many and photographed him next to signs and flags of the most obscure finds such as the Embassy of Palau. As we walked the city blocks, we began noticing what appeared to be mass evacuations from embassy buildings. At first we wondered if they shared common fire drill days. That didn’t seem to be the case. Our next thought was terrorism threats. We opted to steer away from embassies for a while, and grab a drink at a coffee shop to rehydrate in the humid summer heat. We overheard a couple talking about an earthquake. Then the customer in front of us began a conversation with the barista about an earthquake. Now we were getting concerned. Did the big one hit the west coast? We were over 2000 miles away from home. Was our house still standing? My husband was in China on business, so I tried texting my neighbor. No response.
How Was That Even Possible?
Finally, when I got to the counter, after placing our orders, I asked about the earthquake. He looked at me puzzled, was I being an imbecile? What was I missing here? No I hadn’t been listening to the news, so if the west coast was now in the Pacific Ocean, I truly had no idea. I was beginning to feel insecurely dumb. He asked, didn’t you feel it? Feel what? The earthquake that was centered not all that far from DC. Weirdly, later I learned that my parents in northern NJ felt it. My son and I who had been out walking all day hadn’t felt a thing, and we were much closer to the epicenter.
Apparently, our experience wasn’t unusual. If you’re not in a building, you won’t notice moving and shaking. We were trekking at a good pace, so we didn’t feel the ground shifting. Wow, such an odd phenomenon. It felt disconcerting that everyone around us seemed to be in the know, except us. And, had the circumstances called for sheltering, I hoped there would have been some type of sirens or alerts on our phones to let us to know to seek safety.
Get the FEMA App
FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, offers authorized emergency cell phone messages ranging from Federal down to local, tribal, and territorial authorities to alert you to natural and human-caused disasters. Since then, I installed the FEMA App. I’ve received few alerts, mostly Amber alerts, but it’s comforting to know that it’s there if needed.
Slowly Wean Yourself from Unwarranted Trauma
Play around with slowly weaning yourself from the news, it’s filled with unnecessary trauma. Like passing a tragic road accident, you don’t have to look. You might see something you can’t unsee. I used to tune into the news while making breakfast and dinner. Then opted for once a day. Now, I will go a day or two without. I have my browser set to a blank screen, so I don’t catch the news on my PC either. Occasionally, I will catch a breaking story on social media. Right now that’s my way of capturing photos of my daughter and son-in-law’s honeymoon. The quickest way to kill a vicarious travel thrill is to witness accounts of a random shooting spree. Sigh.
If You Can't Resist the Urge
If you opt to tune into TV news or scout for news stories online, I’d recommend being mindful about the time of day. If you’re needing to be on your ‘A’ game for the day, avoid current events first thing in your day. Your entire day can be thrown off. Watching the news prior to bed can heighten your stress levels, cause difficulty in falling asleep or disturbances returning to sleep should you awaken during the night. Mid-day might be a better time, but schedule a mindless activity immediately afterward so you can reshift your focus into something more alluring than dwelling on crises. Or take 15 minutes for a quick meditation or exercise routine to release pent up emotions in a constructive(ish) way.
Remedies for My Hurting Brain
With all of the intensity going on worldwide, my brain hurts. Hurts enough that nearly every word I’ve typed has been misspelled. It’s swirling, spiraling, and needing relief. So, I will go take a shower. Do 15 minutes of Qi Gong (a mood uplifter for sure), then reset myself for the day while also making a conscious choice to avoid the news, for now. (‘Now’ was spelled nwo, arrghh). Obviously my brain needs some TLC. Ta ta.
This level of organization may be just right for you. Or not. Either way that’s ok. You decide. Image by Pexels from Pixabay
I have lots of answers…are they "best" for you?
Not long ago, I received a request to contribute to an article about “best” organizing practices. How do I answer that? The majority of my clients need my services as a result of what some classify as “neurodivergent” traits. Without getting too technical, neurodivergent traits are those brain processing attributes that diverge from the way a “typical” brain processes. As if ‘typical’ actually exists. Nevertheless, for those contending with exceptional brain wiring and processing difficulties, their experience is real and challenging.
Most of my clients have been diagnosed with or strongly suspect ADHD. The majority of them struggle with other co-existing brain-based challenges such as depression, anxiety, Asperger's, and/or bi-polar syndrome. It’s not uncommon for them to have a string of physical ailments to boot which impede their ability to accomplish certain tasks without assistance.
Best organizing practices for someone who is grappling with neurological or developmental conditions that interfere with daily functioning and chronically challenged by executive function weaknesses, the main culprit behind ADHD, in all likelihood will be quite different from what US society defines as the neurotypical methods. Executive function skills, which emanate from the brain’s prefrontal cortex, govern organization capabilities. Therefore, weakness or less than optimal (for that person) executive function correlates to difficulties (organizing or otherwise) in one or multiple cognitive areas. Time perception & time management; memory skills; impulsivity; planning and prioritization; motivational levels along with the ability to self-motivate; problem-solving; emotional regulation; and possibly interpersonal communications and relationships can precipitate capacity to get and stay organized if robust or impede abilities if wobbly.
The bottom line is that readers falling within neurotypical designations are theoretically less likely to need organizing adjustments beyond object arrangement ideas and disposal resources. I acknowledge that’s a highly generalized theory perhaps, but on the whole, that population isn’t coping with executive function dysfunctions that consistently hamper organization aspirations.
Rather than list a bunch of tools that may or may not apply to both types of audiences, I opted for a bird’s eye holistic approach to home and lifestyle organizing. My client outcomes tend to be more successful when we tune into each person’s uniqueness. Therefore, “best” is a relative term.
Let’s Dial Down
Let’s dial down to see how this might apply directly to you and your objectives. What does it mean to be organized within your own world? What are your specific needs? What do you or other household members hope to get out of reinventing your living spaces, calendars, task initiation or completion? What’s realistic for you? Unless the process makes sense to you and you commit to embrace it, a new direction stands little chance of sustainment. Where and how do we begin to move forward regardless of brain type?
Orient to What You Want
Start with the overall ‘what’. What do you really want? If you don’t need or want to get organized, no worries. If you’re thinking bring it on, then I suggest you ascertain the big picture first, then zoom into specifics. Frequently, we bog down in details before deciding what we hope to get out of it. Next we get frustrated by minutia overwhelm. Eventually, we give up before we get any further. No need to rush unless you’re up against a deadline. Give it time to percolate.
What areas of your life could benefit from improvement? Is it space, time, finances, relationships or possibly a combination of these? If you look at interior design TV programs thinking, “that’s what I want my house to look like”, groovy. Keep in mind, Hollywood can make anything happen at any price with lots of folks behind the scenes. Is it realistic for you, your time, skills, environment, supportive network, and budgetary constraints? Strive to keep it real. Otherwise, that staged scene will look more like shattered pixels and deflated hopes before you get far. Once you understand the big picture, narrow down further and further until the job feels manageable for your abilities, time, energy, and potentially budget. Aim for a corner of a desk vs an entire room for a less overwhelming place to start.
Surrender Lead Balloons
2. What specifically isn’t working? Do you have more objects than space to store them? If your living quarters are tight, find extraneous items, the lead balloons, that you no longer use, need, or like. Donate, gift, sell, or recycle those to create more room for your essentials and treasures.
Try looking at your home from a fresh perspective to find imperceptible storage options. Storage doesn’t necessarily have to be a closet, cabinet, or shelf. Consult a neutral observer such as a professional organizer for space optimization ideas if you’re stuck. I worked with a client whose apartment had virtually no storage. Placing 2 bookshelf partitions on opposing walls to the rear of a 9x12 room created a private office nook, concealing large objects such as tents and skis that had nowhere else to reside. The partition shelves provided extra storage for books, kitchen gadgets housed in decorative baskets, hobby supplies, and other miscellaneous items. Hooks and hanging rods were installed on each of the concealed walls to stow clothes and coats.
Suppose “item-release” decisions are beyond your emotional capacity? Turn to your support network: a friend, family member or a non-invested soul to help you analyze what’s important to you and what’s not. Allowing them to handle each object will thwart a “sympathetic response”. What is a sympathetic response? Memories or emotions may trigger as you touch or hold the object. Kinesthetic or tactile processors, individuals who predominantly process through touching, feeling, doing, are reportedly more predisposed to experiencing a sympathetic response. Depending upon the response sensation or magnitude, your feelings about that item could shift from “I can get rid of that” to “I better keep it.” Spare the stress. If you don’t touch it, you’re less likely to respond to it. Resist the urge.
This trajectory may make sense to you. Or not. Honor your uniqueness. Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Build on Triumphs
3. What’s working? Build upon successes. If you’re strategic at time management in your profession, but not so much at home, is there a calendar system that keeps you on track in the office? Could it be modified for home use? Is accountability something that motivates you? Then buddy up. Find a pal who also wishes to plow through their to-do list. Support each other while on a phone or video call, then celebrate your wins afterward.
Take note of any rewards or inducements that have worked in the past. Continue to use the beneficial incentives, and dispose of the duds or previous winners that no longer help. Be open to continually pocketing appealing reward methods if you’re prone to easily getting bored or seek innovative stimulation. It’s important for impulsive types to be mindful of reward types. Draining your budget with expensive rewards or compromising your dietary goals is likely to lead to disharmony rather than effectively celebrating task completion and organizing successes. Sometimes accomplishment is a reward in itself.
Recognizing your own bandwidth size is crucial. Take breaks or piece-meal your projects to prevent burnout, to sidestep physical and emotional breakdowns, and to stay within allotted available scheduled timeframes. Turn to tried & true methods to keep your scheduling on track, or explore new techniques until you fall into a temporary or possibly permanent groove.
Rather than resist rest, exercise, or replenishment breaks, physical and emo recharges can reset your stamina when you find focus and motivation deteriorating. When you’re stuck, walk away for 5-7 minutes. You might see challenges from a revised doable perspective.
Often my clients have difficulty extrapolating successes from one area of their life to other seemingly unrelated circumstances. To go a step further, they also tend to overlook successes period. Admirably, they’re highly creative but inhibited by fears and past bloopers. Look for opportunities in all aspects of your life for methods leading to getting things done faster or with more ease. Notice when your efforts garnered positive feedback. Dig into activities that fuel your passion and motivation. What facets, even if miniscule, can you borrow and apply to more onerous or uninteresting tasks in order to check it off your list?
Be curious, creative, and resourceful. Experiment without judgment. Apply “good enough” when appropriate vs getting bogged down in perfectionism. You’ll be on your way to “best” organizing practices as they apply to your unique world.
Sock Frenzy
Just because I’m a professional organizer doesn’t mean my brain doesn’t get confused, A LOT. That’s why I need to keep my spaces clutter-free because my brain is prone to spiraling. Fortunately, I’m able to call upon my organizational skills to help me create methods to get passed some of the sticky points.
Does your brain get scrambled when tackling the laundry? For the most part, I’m ok depending on how busy I am. The busier my schedule, the more flustered my brain can become. Socks are the thing that can whip my neurons into a frenzy. So years ago, I tried to make post-drying sorting as easy as possible. Rather them dump all the laundered socks into a pile, I avoid visual overload by doing the following:
Boom, that’s it.
My socks are stored in my dresser, divided by color. I’ve repurposed cardboard dividers previously used in wine stem boxes. Having the socks stored this way makes it super easy to quickly grab socks in the dark in case I have to get dressed while my husband is still asleep.
At it over 2 hours, still more panels awaiting. Sigh.
Last week I wrote a tip about my struggles motivating myself to complete an annual cleaning ritual. I could have let it go, but the task gnawed away each time I saw a cloud of dust erupt as I opened the curtains if the sun hit just at the right angle. Irritation also happened each night when I re-noticed black spots from some unidentified source on the right-hand living room curtain. If I got no other “spring cleaning” tasks done, I would feel at least somewhat accomplished if this particular chore disappeared from the 2023 to-do list.
As you may have noticed from the photos I posted last week, the task is done except for my son’s bedroom curtains. They’re red. They have to be washed with the color load instead of the pale curtain colors. They’ll be simple to knock out before he visits in 2 weeks.
What I observed I needed, once I got past the lack of motivation, is to address one of my biggest ever-present liabilities: PATIENCE or lack thereof. I’m not an inherently patient person. I like to quickly and efficiently knock out action items. This was no 15-30 minute job. I was knee deep for hours, and I could feel tension rising. Here’s what I did to cope. I intentionally separated the pile, leaving some panels in the laundry room, and taking a few at a time into the living room where I set up the ironing board so as not to get too overwhelmed by how much remained after completing each panel. That helped, a bit.
I did a fairly good job of pacing myself. I was mindful of how the iron seemed to let me know it wanted a break. It wreaked with signs of potential over-heating. I used iron cool-downs as an excuse to take a breather. I skipped off to attend a mid-afternoon meeting, and then squeezed in my afternoon walk. Another intermission, I prepared a hearty soup so it would be ready after my early evening conference call, and then knocked out some light dusting before finishing up client notes. Finally I sidled back to the last panel before the con call.
Yes, I needed to re-motivate each time I stepped aside, but it really wasn’t too bad. After my walk, about 15 minutes remained in a podcast, so I used that to start another panel. The rest of the time, I put on mindless TV for background noise and to occasionally glance up at something aside from fabric, but nothing that dangerously distracted my attention. Burns to my body or the fabric would definitely have been de-motivating this year and for years to come.
In total, it took nearly 3 hours to iron all the panels, mostly because the linen material on the bedroom curtains takes prohibitively long. Even damp, which I discovered a few years back aids in speeding up the process, they are still a royal P.I.T.A. Ah, it felt noticeably refreshing to get the cumbersome ones done. Not that any of them were a picnic, but some were definitely less onerous than others.
Thank you again for surreptitiously providing me with the accountability to remove this irritating stressor from my to-dos. Patience is still a work in progress, but I’m definitely tuning into tools to calm that savage beast.
Motivate and Activate When It's Just Not Happening
While this is technically a cleaning tip, I’m including this under ADHD coping tips for a reason. This is intended to tap into motivation and accountability, more specifically my own. A few years ago, I migrated my “spring cleaning” ritual to winter while I’m stuck indoors. Thereby allocating spring time for gardening chores. As part of this ritual, I launder all the washable curtains in my home. That’s been gnawing away on my radar for several weeks now. Taking the panels down is a bit of a bore, but not really a big deal. Neither is tossing them in the washer and dryer. Easy! So where’s the hiccup? Why am I avoiding this particular task? Ironing. There are 6 84” linen panels. They’re incredibly onerous to iron. The two windows with short panels aren’t as dreadful, and fortunately not linen.
For most of us, if something doesn’t float our boat, excite us, or entice us, we’re less likely to put those tasks at the top of our list. Or make the list at all. Add a brain-based challenge like adult ADHD, and every shiny thing will get shinier luring us away from the thing we dread. That’s been my experience at least. Every day, those curtains fall further down the list as I find other actions that are either easier to knock out or are more palatable. Most of which, including the curtains, aren’t exactly important, so relatively speaking, it’s not a “do or die” situation. But I’m a listmaker who thrives on crossing off completed projects. I do want the curtains done. Therefore, y’all are my accountability buddies. I’m using this week’s practical tip to motivate myself to get on a step stool. Grab all the panels. Toss them into the machines. And heat up the iron. Forgive me if I presumed your acquiescence to be part of this process. What’s done is done. Bonus, it gave me an idea for a practical tip which is now completed.
If you find yourself dragging your heels. Avoiding the to-dos with either major or minor resistance, experiment with the following:
Give the steps a whirl. I’d love to know what helps you overcome avoidance to get through dull tasks.
Leave a Light On
In our vernacular, we’ve adopted an expression, “Adult ADHD” to explain away moments of distractibility, frustration, forgetfulness, and veering off track. These are the times you walk into a room to grab something. By the time you get there, you have no idea why you’re in the room. Or, you start on one task, the phone rings, and you’ve completely veered away from where you were prior to the call. As a result, task gets left undone. Sound familiar? Take a breath. Relax your shoulders. Mine creeped up in response to this topic.
Diagnostic Accuracy or Not, the Manifestation is Exasperating
For some, “Adult ADHD” is diagnostically accurate. For others, the term is used loosely as an explanation for age-related forgetfulness, over-scheduling, too much on the plate, or a host of other reasons. I’ve been guilty of using the terminology indiscriminately which I’m aware diminishes the array of challenges for those navigating through life with diagnostic adult attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Whether you’ve been diagnosed or if you bump up against daily difficulties with distractions that cause you to forget what you were in the midst of doing or what’s next on deck, this simple reminder might help. This coping skill helps me to a degree to keep exasperation at bay.
Turn a light on if you need to remember to return to that room to finish what you were doing or address what’s next on deck.
It's This Simple
Turn a light on. It’s that simple, it may or may not work for you. It may be less effective during daylight hours; if you’re away from an indoor setting where you have control over lighting; if you get waylaid long enough away from where you left the light on; or if someone in your household, aware of your forgetful tendencies, switches the light off. Therefore, this technique may need tweaking. An audio alert, which will require a bit more forethought and time to execute, could be a better solution. My iphone alarm and reminder settings allow me to label the alert; otherwise, I might ditz on what the notification is for.
See if You Can Follow This
Here’s an example of how and why I use this particular reminder. A few days ago in my home office, with 30 spare minutes prior to a client appointment, I noticed my eyeglasses needed cleaning. The glass cleaning cloth is stored in the laundry room. Before washing the glasses in the powder room, I grabbed the cloth. While in the laundry room, I noticed the clean laundry on the drying rack ready to be folded and put away. I didn’t want to forget them after dealing with my glasses, so I left the laundry room light on as I scurried to the powder room. As I washed my glasses, I saw that the soap dispenser was nearly empty.
Now I had 4 things to remember to do:
Refill the soap dispenser.
Return the glass cleaning cloth to the laundry room.
Fold and put away the clothes.
Prepare for my upcoming appointment back in my office.
Before temporarily leaving the powder room to head to the kitchen to refill the soap dispenser (refill bottles reside under the kitchen sink), I switched on the light. Lo and behold, I received a can’t miss return phone call from my doctor, so I ran to my office to fetch my cell phone. This call involved scheduling an appointment, marking it on my wall calendar, adding it to my e-calendar, and awaiting a dual-factor authentication code for the calendar log-in. Before the authentication code arrived, a text popped up. Arrgh, I could feel my brain scrambling to stay focused. I entered the code on my pc, scanned the text in case it was my client (nope), and set up alert reminders for the DR appointment. Now where was I??? Did you lose track? I did. Why is life complicated?
Tactics That Might Work for 5 Minutes or More
I looked down, and I had unknowingly grabbed the glass cleaning cloth on my way to answer my phone as I continued to wipe the drops and streaks on my glasses. That reminded me the cloth needed to be put away. I walked out of my office and noticed the powder room, laundry room, and kitchen lights on. Ah, back to the kitchen to finish refilling the soap dispenser. Return the dispenser to the powder room. Take the glass cloth, head to the laundry room to store it back into the over-the-door pocket storage. Fold the clothes, put away the drying rack, and take the clothes upstairs and place them in my dresser drawer.
I might have remembered some or all of those steps or not. While it might have been a waste of electricity for those 5-10 minutes that those lights were on (fortunately we installed solar panels so I feel a little less guilty), I spared myself the self-recrimination and frustration owing to forgetfulness. Whatever works is truly helpful to keep on track. I’m a work in progress. I continually refine because some tactics are effective, some not so much. Some things works for a while, then eventually need adjustment or tossing. Think of it as an exploratory game. That helps to keep the irritation levels at bay (a bit).
Surefire Organizing SNAFU
If you want to guarantee that your organizing project will go sideways…plan to do the whole shebang all at once. I take that back. If it’s a small job that can reasonably be completed in a few minutes, hours, or even a day, go for it, if it won’t freak you out. Keep this in mind, one thing leads to another. What do I mean by that? Ask anyone who tried organizing a minor area such as a linen closet and it took them half a day or longer. They wanted more room for extra blankets, sheets, pillow cases, and pillows. No longer were the blender, coffee maker, and printer supplies welcome. Easy accessibility for those items in the rooms where they would likely be used like the kitchen or office was the goal. But currently there’s no spare storage in those rooms. It’s like the chicken and the egg, an endless cycle of what goes first?
Linen closet in need of TLC
Before you start, it’s helpful to know that clearing out any area or room will lead to needing storage elsewhere for relocated objects. That is, unless you plan to clear out via donation, gifting, selling, or recycling all goods that don’t belong in there.
One option, to manageably and simultaneously create storage space in various rooms, is to hire a professional organizing team. No budget for that? Assign each family member a room to target. However, be wary of frenetic busyness and the weightiness of extra decisions as you get pulled in multiple directions while attempting to focus on your own area.
For those with ADHD or prone to feeling scattered, tame the project as much as possible. Start by scaling expectations. The bigger the expectation, the harder the downfall if it doesn’t work. The smaller the project, the faster the win.
Break the project down into the tiniest, most feasible scope. Pick one area to start such as one corner of a room. Then zoom in further to one piece of furniture such as a desk. Now pick a corner of the desk or one drawer. Start there. You can always go bigger as time, energy, and focus permit.
Label boxes and bins with the corresponding destination so it’s clear what goes where, and you won’t need to continually stop to identify the box’s contents or landing place. Categories might be: primary bedroom, bathroom, living room, kitchen, attic, garage, donation center, recycling, trash, the kids, my friends, my aunt, whatever makes sense for your circumstances. Rather than run from room to room, fill the boxes. When the boxes are full or you run out of time or energy, temporarily stack them safely until you have the opportunity to clear out storage space or you have more time to resume.
Keep stacks to a safe height (waist to chest high) to avoid toppling and maintain clear passageways. Stop when you’ve reached maximum safe temporary storage capacity. If it makes sense, deliver room designated boxes to their next destination. This will allow you to assess how much storage space you will need there, and to slowly begin putting things away as space allows. Think about placing filled boxes for external delivery (donation or recycling center) in your car.
Move on to another area or room step by step. There are no rules. If you like to mix it up by doing a little here and there, give it a go. Progress is progress no matter how you got there. If the process doesn’t seem to be working well, try something different. Ask for a hand, someone to run boxes while you fill up more. Having a co-pilot will make the job go quicker and is usually more fun with a person suitable as your side-kick.
A Rapid Reset When Your Mind is Spinning and Your Body is Tense
Admittedly, this reset will be super tough for someone whose mind is spinning wildly and agitation is high. Try an adult time-out. It’s worth a shot to get your body and brain settled. It’s hard to think clearly, speak coherently, act thoughtfully when your mind’s haywire and you’re jumping out of your skin. Get on with your day and accomplish your to-dos with a relatively quick pause. What have you got to lose? If you have an upcoming appointment or limited time, set a timer. The milder the symptoms, the faster this will work. Stick with it until you notice any improvement or until your timer beeps. 2-5 minutes, depending on severity could be just enough to get a reboot.
Find a quiet, relatively comfortable spot where you won’t be bothered by shiny things or other tempting distractions. A stairway for example. Either close your eyes or select something to stare at. If your eyes are open, allow them to remain on the object as you begin to regulate your breathing.
Sit, get comfortable, breathe and notice. Image by Dean Moriarty from Pixabay.
Notice your breaths. Breathe in through the nose, out through your mouth (clogged noses not withstanding). See how long you can extend the inhale and the exhale. As you do, what do you notice? Any scents or fragrances in the air? What’s the air feel like going in and out? Is it cooler or warmer on the inhale or the exhale? Breathe in and out slowly 10 times or until you notice your breathing becomes regular and easy.
Imagine your eyes focusing inside your body now. Scan head to toe. What’s the state of your body? Starting with your head. Is your scalp tight or loose? Your forehead? Your eyes? Neck? Shoulders? Simply notice as you move downward what each area feels like. Tense? Anxious? Relaxed? Calm? Unremarkable? Use your mind to send oxygen to any area that is tight or on edge. Stay with that area until you notice even a slight improvement. Then resume the scan and repeat. When you’ve finished, imagine warm, soothing water cascading over your head down your body washing away all the ickiness.
If you still have time…
With gentle breaths continuing, sense your environment. What do the surfaces around your body feel like? If you’re sitting, does it feel soft under your body? Hard? Rough? Squishy? Is the floor under your feet carpet? Hardwood? Tile? Does it feel cold? Warm? Soft? Hard? What do your clothes feel like on your body? Comforting? Loose? Tight? Soft? Textural? Simply notice your surroundings. Feel them. Each time your mind drifts off, gently bring it back.
What sounds do you hear? People talking? Birds chirping? Dogs barking? Horns beeping? Lawn equipment roaring? Your own breathing? Allow your mind to note each one, then let it go and see what else you pick up.
Sit for another moment or 2. As you do, feel back into your body. Any changes from when you first sat down? If there’s still tension or anxiousness, if you have time, repeat each step. If you feel good, thank yourself for allowing a wellness pause.
Remembering What You Forgot
While this tip is included as an ADHD coping tip, it applies to anyone diverted from their usual routine or needing cues to remember something out of the ordinary. First, a little backstory. My daily walking routine was disrupted after being out of town for an extended period of time. While I was gone, the days grew shorter. Now my walks aren’t always in daylight. It took 3 walks in the dark without my reflective vest, before I realized my mistake. Embarrassingly, it took 2 more dark walks in a deep purple jacket and non-reflective pants before I remembered to grab my vest prior to heading out the door. By day 5, I needed to do 2 things:
During the cold months, this isn’t normally an issue because I keep the vest in the coat closet. I see it when I grab my coat, or I hang it directly on that hanger. But remembering it now, after being out of the walking routine, still warm temps, and shorter hours of daylight has been a challenge.
How did I successfully manage this transition? And I finally did.
Yay, I finally remembered my reflective vest.
I have to admit breaking back into a routine or habit isn’t always a cinch. First you have to realize that something is different. What changed? What caused the change? Do you want to reinvoke the habit? How do you return to the routine or perhaps make it even better?
There are no rules. Play around with it. Give yourself some leeway to goof up along the way. I sure did. Fortunately, while heading out without the vest wasn’t the safest way to walk in the dark, my white sneakers probably were enough to help be seen, and I got through the first week without incident. And yes, once I realized that the vest was missing again on the second day of awareness (by now day 5 in the dark), I silently admonished myself for forgetting again. No, I take that back, come to think of it, I did bitch to my husband, “dang I forgot it again!”. Coincidentally, while this tip was awaiting publication, my dentist said remembering her reflective vest has been troublesome for her too. I told her, “I have a tip for you!”
But now the routine is reestablished. I’m not likely to forget it again, at least until there’s a routine disruption. If so, I will tinker around to get me back on track.
When Learning Isn’t Your Thing
Do you despise learning? Is despise is too strong? Do details bore you? Do you shut down because it’s one more thing you have to remember and likely to forget? It’s much easier to dive fast and deep into topics or activities that we have a passion for, anything else leaves us susceptible to turning off before tuning in.
Before you freak out or close down, here are some ideas for less intimidating ways to assimilate new material. There are also a few suggestions for coping in environments when you feel out of your element.
1. Make it a game.
That’s hard to do when information is data laden: dates, names, formulas, seemingly useless minutia. In school I struggled to remember facts when studying for tests. Eventually I developed a number of methods to store the data in short term memory until the test was over. For example, if there were lists of definitions, I would fold paper in half lengthwise. On one side of the fold, I wrote the word. After the fold, I wrote the definition either directly across from the word or somewhere else down the page so that I had to match the word and definition. That felt more like a game to me, which made studying easier. Handwriting each word and definition also helped reinforce the particulars.
Occasionally I played “Best the Clock.” After memorizing 4-5 definitions, historical facts, or mathematical properties, I would test myself to see how many questions I could answer before the clock ran out. If a ticking clock or elapsing time stresses you out, I don’t recommend this technique.
2. Practice for reinforcement
I embarrassed myself the first day of my second summer job. I fumbled and bumbled trying to make change via subtraction (math was not my strong suit). When I got home nearly in tears, my mom, a math whiz, taught me a less mathy technique, “build toward the dollar”. If someone hands you a dollar for a .49 cent purchase, a penny will get you to .50 cents. Another 50 cents (2 quarters) renders a dollar. How could it have been that easy? Sigh.
I grabbed household items, gave them prices, then practiced making change for a few days with my mom and my friends until I felt confident. I granted myself a humiliation pass once I realized that this basic life skill was never taught in school. Seriously. My kids aren’t likely to remember, but I taught them the same way.
3. Find something about the learning that interests you
Your friend wants you to join her for a new art exhibition, but museums aren’t your thing. You want to be a good friend. You’d like her to join you when your passions aren’t exactly hers. Go along for a change of scenery. Find something at the venue that sparks your own interests. The colors, the architecture, even people watching. While she pauses at each painting, admire the art physically while your mind wanders. What it would be like to be in that scene? Why did the artist choose those colors? What was she thinking? Without realizing it, you’re picking up on style, color theory, and what it is about the artist or the artwork that interests or repels you.
If none of that works, distract yourself by contemplating after-museum drinks and nibbles. What kind of coffee and treats will you order? Hot on a frigid day, or icey cold on a steamy afternoon? Lattes, espressos, or herbal tea? Sweets, savories, crunchies or custards. If your stomach starts noticeably growling, that’ll give you an excuse to ask her to head out.
Professor Brian Cox, University of Manchester, reflects on “Our Place in the Universe” at the “State of the Universe” Symposium in celebration of the late Professor Stephen Hawking’s 70th birthday party.
In 2017, I had the good fortune to attend the late Professor Stephen Hawking’s 70th birthday party festivities in Cambridge, England. The main component of the celebration was the “State of the Universe” Conference. On the final day of the conference, we were invited to a public symposium hosted by the Centre for Theoretical Cosmology. The program featured the most brilliant minds in cosmology, physics, and astronomy. Gravitational waves, holography and black holes, supernovae. This was an opportunity of a lifetime. Yet, I was way out of my element. At first, I found myself frustrated as my brain tried to keep up. Then I convinced myself to lighten UP! I did. Instead of struggling to comprehend, I lost myself in the videos and graphics, speaker delivery, the excitement of the audience. Once I allowed my brain to relax, my understanding of the concepts was slightly clearer. Slightly.
Pick up what you can. And if you choose to or need to go deeper, find someone to help you walk through it, watch videos on Youtube, or enroll in an intro course for a more elementary approach to the material.
4. Tune into your uniqueness
Do you feel like you learn then have to relearn over and over? That’s not surprising for some ADHD brains and for those who have experienced traumatic brain injury (TBI). Co-vid 19 and chemo medications leave some with long-term brain fog and memory difficulties. Inattentiveness, hyperactive thoughts, brain fog, and injury to the brain understandably cause difficulty processing new information and subsequent memory retention. I get it, it’s frustrating and it takes lots of patience. Sometimes more than we have. I talk about my own brain fog compensation and offer some tips that occasionally work for me in this month’s blog, “Going Nowhere Day After Day: Breaking the Cycle”.
How do you process most effectively? Tune in to how you naturally learn to make assimilating new information and to some degree, retention less onerous. For example, I’m a strong kinesthetic and visual processor. I need to see it, touch it, play around with it, and practice continually otherwise I will forget. If it’s not something amenable to constant practice, create a set of instructions in a way that makes sense for you. For instance, I typed a checklist with photos to walk me step-by-step through fixing a wonky “in-wall tank” toilet valve. It’s infrequent enough that I forget how to take it apart and reassemble it when it needs a readjustment. The next time I have to deal with it, my instructions will be ready. I keep them in a digital household folder, subfolder=bathrooms.
I often recommend the “Talk Show Method”, more commonly known as the Protege Effect. It’s a handy and proven psychological phenomenon to learn and reinforce something new. Pretend you’re a talk show host teaching an audience how to make a recipe, darn a holey sock, create a spreadsheet. Teaching others (even invisible people) “improves your learning process by increasing your metacognitive processing, increasing your use of effective learning strategies, increasing your motivation to learn the material, and increasing your feelings of competence and autonomy”.* Try it, see if it helps.
The next time you need to learn something new for work or complete a household task, think of it as an experiment. Play around until you get the hang of it. Then create a set of instructions with words, photos, hand drawn pictures to break the steps down to avoid freaking out down the road.
*Itamar Shatz, PhD, Effectiviology, The Protégé Effect: How You Can Learn by Teaching Others
Tap into Your Strengths for Greater Success
Do you suspect or have you been diagnosed with ADHD? If ADD/ADHD* applies to you keep reading. If not, you might wish to read on too. Why? To understand family, friends, and coworkers who exhibit ADHD characteristics.
Strengths get lost behind a wall of labels, challenges, diagnoses, and comments from others. The more we get called out on our less positive traits, the more we lose who we really are. We feel bogged down, less motivated, unable to gather clear thoughts, and fearful of trying because we might not succeed. Not much gets done or without lots of bitching and muttering.
Suppose we can tap into our strengths? Select among our personal toolkits to achieve our goals or at least sail more smoothly through daily tasks, work assignments, interpersonal relationships? Wouldn't that be ideal?
As with the Brain Types and Sensory Preferences Assessments that I offer, the more we understand what makes us tick, the easier it is to get us into our zone to reach each finish line with fewer struggles.
Each week for the next several weeks, I will guide you through a strength-based self -assessment. Your answers will provide you with more clarity, operate more efficiently, and motivate you to get started and keep moving toward completion.
Let’s begin by looking at your peak performance time of day. Use these tips to optimize your bio-clock.
What time of day at you at your peak for focus and activity? Are you a(n):
- Early Bird
- Midday Songbird
- Night Owl
Use the suggestions below that correspond to your response.
Image by Claude Mondestin from Pixabay
Early Bird
Early Bird's peak time is prior to noon. Schedule your brain intensive, high capacity work early in the day when your brain and body are at their peak. Use afternoon hours for some regenerative movement/exercise, and less cognitive work. Skip the afternoon caffeine hit to avoid sleep disturbance at night. Instead opt for veggie smoothies or protein packed lunches and snacks. Schedule early dinners to fully digest prior to sleep. Plan a reasonable bed time to ensure you’re ready for early start. As an Early Bird, if you still have work leftover at the close of the day, instead of staying up late, set your alarm for earlier in the morning to squeeze in extra work time. Arise 15-20 minutes early each morning for meditation or exercise prior to launching your day for an energizing start.
Midday Songbird
As mid-day is optimal peak time for you, schedule your brain intensive and high energy tasks for noon to five pm. Use your mornings to catch up on mundance or repetitive tasks, exercise, journaling, or meditation. Ensure that you eat meals that will sustain you through the afternoon such as protein based-meals and snacks to avoid sleepiness as the day goes on, and hydrate frequently. Move around if you feel your energy levels sagging. Use early evenings for exercise if mornings don't work for your schedule.
Image by Erik Karits from Pixabay
Late nights are your thing. Night Owls fall prey to losing themselves in work or play resulting in wee hour bedtime. Early morning meetings will not highlight your best thoughts and talents unless you manage to squeeze in deep, restorative sleep. Plan to forego intentional late nights when days start earlier than you prefer. Set your alarm 15-20 minutes prior to the time you need to arise to build in extra time to get your brain and body moving without feeling rushed and overwhelmed. Prepare a high potency smoothie before bed to grab in the morning in lieu of or in addition to your caffeine fix. Add some protein for an extra energy punch. By midday, late-nighters often feel an energy drain before rebounding through the night. Allow time in your post-noon schedule for a 20 minute nap, a protein snack and lots of hydration, and movement to get you over the hump.
2. Pacing
When working or tackling chores would you describe yourself as a:
- Sprinter (get it done quickly and move on)
- Miler (pace yourself slow and steady)
- Marathoner (go the distance, keep on working long hours to get the job done)
- Dabbler (do a little bit, take a break, move on to something else, come back with continuous switching it up)
Sprinters have their eyes on the finish line. Image by Keith Johnston from Pixabay
Sprinter
Sprinters have their eyes on the finish line. They typically enjoy crossing items off the to-do list. Those awaiting product delivery from you appreciate your attention to deadlines. However, carelessness can result from speeding along. Rushing causes do-overs or unwelcome feedback. You might wish to double check your work or ask a neutral party to review for glaring mistakes. Slowing down is obvious but not alway possible with a spinning brain and energetic body. Build in times to pause here and there for a refreshed perspective.
Image by Melk Hagelslag from Pixabay
Miler
Milers' deliberateness and steadiness helps to keep emotions in check and avoid burnout In order to operate most effectively, ensure that you plan for busy times or unexpected demands so that you can continue at your pace.
Pace yourself Marathoners for better performance and burnout avoidance. Image by tookapic from Pixabay
Marathoners, are you prone to procrastination? Waiting too long to start then pounding away under the crunch of a deadline? The reasons for stalling may vary. Lack of motivation, overflowing schedules, or the dopamine hit of last minute urgency. If you find that this is burning you out, pause to take notice of patterns. What is getting in the way of pacing yourself? Use some of the tips for night owl, procrastinator, and internal drivers to get you to the finish line with less stress and dread.
Dabblers tune into stop-start patterns. Are they helpful or hindrance? Use this awareness to guide your decisions and actions. Image by Mike Foster from Pixabay
Dabbler
Dabblers it might be worth noting if attention deficit contributes to your stop-start patterns. Tune into to what's behind that to guide your decision-making and actions. Randomly switching from one task to another can disrupt flow. A little bit here, a little attention there. If fleeting attention gets in the way, an ADHD evaluation and strategies might be helpful for you. On the flip side, if the redirection is due to your awareness of shifting energy and focus needs, then kudos for tuning in.
*Note: Back in 1987, ADD was enveloped into ADHD in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) definition.
Getting tasks started is often more than half the battle. Use your strengths for task initiation through to completion. Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.
Select the method(s) you currently use to cue action.
A. Set audible and/or visual alerts and timers.
B. Play it by ear.
C. React mostly to urgent or immediate requests.
D. Rely on routines and habits.
Tune into your action stimulators. What works? What could use improvement? Chances are you use a mix of A-D. Are some more useful than others? Do circumstances dictate your response mode? Do professional expectations have more immediate and potent triggers than household chores? Some responsibilities carry more weight or have greater significance. It’s easier to wrap your head around an action or how you will tackle it, if you have the agency and personal toolkit to do so. You may have your own cues that are not listed here. If they work, keep on keeping on. If not, experiment until you find the magic formula. Even magic formulas may need adjustment over time.
Time Timers are a visual and auditory asset for letting you know how much time has passed and the amount of time remaining.
A. Alerts
Alerts and timers are a fantastic way to stay on schedule, get you out of your chair to take a refresher break, and to remind you to move about to benefit your circulation, your body and your mind. Ensure that the volume is loud enough to hear. Visual and auditory alarms such as The Time Timer let you know, at a rapid glance, how much time you have before you need to move on to the next thing. To avoid interrupting others, place your phone in your pocket and use the vibrate option. Alarms, beeps, and noises can be annoying when they impede creativity flow. Set alerts to something you’ll appreciate hearing. Keep in mind, even if annoying, the notification will benefit you in the long run.
Use whatever type of list or doodle works for your brain. Image by 18706286 from Pixabay
B. Play By Ear
Playing it by ear is a relaxed way to approach your to-dos. For those items that are not time-sensitive or have serious repercussions if forgotten or not completed, then no worries. Do what comes naturally. However, if “winging-it” has not worked well for you, you may need better orchestration. Create whatever type of list works for you. Doodles, scheduled alerts on your phone, or a list of 2-3 critical items adhered to your computer screen or bathroom mirror (use something that doesn’t leave sticky residue). Whatever works for you as a non-irritating reminder is better than nothing.
C. Urgent & Immediate Requests
Responding to urgent or immediate requests is a fact of life no matter how well we plan. My March blog, Leading a Double Life, reflects on how even the most organized people can get sidelined by urgent, unexpected assignments. The most useful way to prepare is to be prepared. That means, simplifying, attaining a manageable level daily organization, and taking care of all the time-critical tasks as reasonably as you can. At least you’ll have those well in hand if you get in a crunch. Review the future planning preparations suggested in the blog to ensure that you’re covered for major life events when life goes sideways.
D. Routines & Habits
Relying on routines and habits may seem boring to those with ADHD or other brain-based conditions. However, if your brain feels overtaxed most of the time, then routines and habits give the brain less to plan and manage. Use cues as a reminder throughout your day to initiate the routine. For instance, place your toothbrush and contact solution near your bathroom faucet so that you remember to brush your teeth and clean your contacts before heading to bed. If you don’t like counter clutter, how about a decorative wallboard with an artsy checklist of nighttime routines in the bathroom?
4. Self-Motivation
Last week’s tip, Starting Tasks, addressed external influences for task initiation. This week focuses on internally driven motivators. What stimulates action for you?
What stimulates action for you? Plug into your stimulators. Image by Colin Behrens from Pixabay
A. Innate motivation
B. Tricks or deals with yourself to start a task or assignment
C. Reminders or nudges to get you moving
D. Crises or looming deadlines
E. Situation dependent response
Use the strategies below to ignite and sustain motivation based on your selection above.
A. Innate motivation
You’re born with natural drive. That’s truly admirable. You likely accomplish a lot, and in a way that buttresses you and your efforts. Even those with unflappable motivation reserves encounter circumstances when motivation is lagging. Use information in the other profiles to ignite the occasional boost to get moving.
B. Tricks and Deals
When you’re feeling blah or uninspired to take action, are you prone to cutting deals with yourself? Five more sit-ups, then dessert is the reward. Finish the bill payments, then splurge on your favorite TV series. You get the picture. I tenaciously held yoga planks well beyond what I thought I could Tuesday night with the promise of a luscious cupcake after dinner. Despite the shaking and cursing under my breath, you better believe I held it. As long as deal cuts are healthy for your body and mind and they entice you to completion, then go for it. If the deals aren’t so sweet, feel free to experiment with other methods to identify where your spark plugs are hiding. Check-in with curiosity to see where resistance is bubbling up. Once you know the reasons, you’re armed with more logic to determine next steps or possible consequences of inaction.
C. Reminders & Nudges
Reminders and nudges can come from any corner of your support system. They can be electronic alerts on your computer screen or phone audio or vibrations or a combination (mine are a combo to ensure I get the message). You may also need reminders, hopefully gentle, from those in your circles. In fact, last night I asked my husband to remind me, should he see me in the kitchen close to 5 pm this evening, to feel free to detour me back to my office for the meeting I’m supposed to lead. It’s out of my normal routine, so the more tactics that have my back, the better. Naggy nudges are unhelpful (speaking from personal experience). Find ways to develop effective received and delivered communication to spark action with minimal aggravation.
D. Crises & Looming Deadlines
Crisis and urgency response is effective when unanticipated emergencies arise. If you’ve mastered that, you’ll be a go-to person when disaster arise. Relying on self-created crises and last minute efforts is stress-inducing for you and those awaiting deliverables. Cortisol levels rise under stressful conditions. Dopamine hits from continuous deadline dodgers might feel good in the moment, not so much long-term. Tap into enjoyable dopamine releasers such as energetic music, hobbies, explore your spirit of adventure, express your artistic side. Speak with your healthcare practitioner about supplements and nutritional adjustments to increase dopamine levels. Play around with time and project management strategies to tweak pacing progress to avoid deadline crashes. Also review Night Owl, Marathoner, Reacting to Immediate Tasks, and Preventing Meltdown tips.
E. Situation dependent response
Frankly all these profiles thus far are situation dependent. That’s useful information, and it allows you the flexibility to sample different techniques to see what works, where and when.
For additional motivational support, download 9 Steps to Get Motivated When You're Not.
With these steps you can hopefully prevent overwhelm meltdowns. Image by Christine Sponchia from Pixabay
Sensing that you’ve read this tip before? No need to question your sanity. If you’ve been with me a while, you likely saw it a year ago. Why am I reprising this topic? Because it’s a perpetual theme for my clients. And embarrassingly, it happens to me far too often. Last night after returning from a trip was the most recent example. To try to help those who don’t personally experience this phenomena understand what it might be like for others, here’s the gyst. There’s a self-imposed pressure to do it all, right away, and most of the time…perfectly.
Most everyone is buried beneath the barrage of external expectations such as meet project deadlines, schedule health or personal care appointments, restock empty refrigerators, fulfill partner requests, maneuver children’s extra-curricular activities, comply with school demands, and accommodate volunteer commitments. That’s already a lot on the plate. Too much in fact for those who experience emotional overload. Now imagine on top of that, you add layers of emotional encumbrances. The overwhelm totality implodes into a despairing meltdown.
Feeling the pressure to do it all, do it now, do it perfectly! Image by Robin Higgins from Pixabay.jpg
When we take a step back, often times, we can detect that the pressure comes from within. No one actually tells us to do it all, right away, perfectly. We tend to be our fiercest task drivers and harshest critics. Yes, I’m raising my hand. We don’t want these plaguing behaviors to persist. But change is hard, and when it finally happens, behavioral progress can be fleeting.
When this tip was first published, two new clients were simultaneously in the throes of self-berating. They hadn’t finished their organizing projects within their pre-ordained timeframes. Both were frustratingly unable to move on to other smaller, easier tasks until the rooms they started were completely finished to their high standards. And both were prohibitively stuck. Family members expressed irritation with the messy lack of progress and the unsafe conditions. Both reached out to me to guide them to the finish line. We moved at their pace. They made change happen mostly without extraneous stress.
So what do you do to avoid a “do it all” meltdown? Let’s look at some pacing strategies in order to keep our brain cells advantageously functioning and our blood pressure in an acceptable range.
1. Get really real.
We've all heard Rome wasn’t built in a day. The more cluttered, the more complex the situation, the longer it will take. I’ve been organizing throughout my life. I'm fairly well skilled at it. Unless working with a team, it's doubtful I could conquer a room in a day. In fact, even when I’ve worked with teams, we rarely completed an entire room organizing project in one day. A linen closet may take a few hours. The left side of a desk with 2-3 piles of papers could take half a day, please don’t beat yourself up if a room is taking days especially if you are working alone mashed in between the rest of your daily duties. Timing also depends on your physical abilities, reading comprehension, and decision-making capabilities. You can only move as fast as you can. Overdoing it won't do you any favors physically or emotionally. Pace yourself with respect for yourself.
2. Question Priorities and Timelines.
How urgent or important is the project? Look at due dates. Knock out urgent or critical tasks before starting new ones. Once you know how much time you have, think about how long it will realistically take to complete it. If your daughter needs her soccer uniform cleaned by tomorrow afternoon, tonight toss the laundry load in while dinner is heating. By the time dinner is done, the uniform will be ready to be hung dry. No crazy running around tomorrow. In fact, she may be old enough to give you a hand with starting the load, folding, and hanging. Get all the assists that you can.
3. Break it down instead of breaking down.
Choose 2-3 easy, doable tasks or steps within larger projects to get started. This will allow a fast win. Aiming unrealistically high can lead to feelings of inadequacy and blow your motivation. We want to keep this manageable. If you finish early, add another task, one at a time. Select something that is reasonable within your time and energy constraints. If you don't have the bandwidth, grant yourself a refresh break.
If you have fair warning about an upcoming event such as travel, pre-plan and pre-act as much as you can. Toss clean laundry directly into the suitcase rather than putting away travel clothes. Pre-clean if you abhor returning to a dirty house. Pay all pending bills before you leave. Clear out as much email prior to leaving. Ask yourself, what can I do to make life easier when I return? What do I typically struggle with? Whatever you anticipate will help relieve pressure down the road is useful to do now when you have a few free moments.
4. Leave enough time to straighten up afterwards.
Create safe passageways and areas for seating or working if necessary. Use stackable boxes, keeping them at a height that reduces injury in the event they topple. Heavier boxes at the bottom, lighter boxes as you stack. Your family will be less likely to grouse if they aren't inconvenienced by extra messes and hazards. The less stuff in your line of vision, the less chance of sensory overload.
If you've got a list of things to do, but your not feeling it, rev your engines with these 9 Motivational Steps. Then keep going until you reach a logical or time limitation stopping point. Fill out the form to access the 9 Motivational Steps booklet. You’ll find it under ADHD Specific Tips.
6. Celebrate every win.
This is so important, particularly for ADHD brains, if you feel like wins are few and far between. Pump yourself up with pats on the back or treating yourself to a token of appreciation. Nothing fancy, expensive, or causes clutter. A cup of tea, hot bath, or a long walk on a beautiful day or even a short jaunt around the block, anything that lets your psyche know that you’ve done well and deserve thanks. If someone in your household voices criticism about your progress, invite them to give a hand or in a neutral tone, let them know you’re getting there, one step at a time.
Reward yourself with a soothing hot beverage when you’re done. Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay coffee cup.jpg
Remember, doing it all, at once, perfectly every time isn’t doable. It isn’t reasonable to expect that of yourself. You’ll get there if you keep the momentum going in a way that works for you. I typically get through with greater ease via lots of focused breathing, podcasts, and/or favorite music. Play around. See what works for you. If one way doesn’t, toss it. If something works well, note it so you don’t forget. And, don’t be shocked if a process is magical once or twice, then tanks. Keep experimenting, make it a game, keep your critiques neutral, cheer yourself on, and reward yourself accordingly.
